Aha! This is how attraction works

17 Jun 2021Updated: 4 hours ago | 52 people are reading

Aha! This is how attraction works

© Marie Claire Aha! This is how attraction works

Those green eyes, a nice smile, intelligent humor ... We think we know what attracts us in someone else, but how does attraction really work? And can you also ignore those butterflies in your stomach, so that you don't fall for the wrong one again?


Lifestyle coach Monica Wardenaar came up with the dating concept TypeDating. She is very involved in understanding and using attraction in her work. "You can recognize real attraction from the 'click' that you feel when you meet someone for the first time. Suppose you meet someone on a birthday. You have a nice conversation, it feels familiar. Of course it is no guarantee that any relationship will be successful is, but: without such a click, the chance of a lasting relationship is small, "says Wardenaar.

Read also: A good night's sleep is crucial for a happy relationship

Love card < / h2>

"Attraction is also different from a physical match. You can feel attraction without having a physical match, which can be a good basis for a friendship, for example. That you feel attraction with one and not with the other, for example, is due to the experiences you gain during your life. The New Zealand sexologist John Money calls this 'love card'.

From an early age you have been unconsciously developing this, by saving of impressions and environmental factors, of your babysitter who e and a sarcastic sense of humor, from the color of your mother's eyes to the way your favorite teacher spoke: all these things together are the puzzle pieces that make up your ideal partner. If that composite partner is a man with blond hair, you will be inclined to say in men with dark hair that this is not my type. In which, according to Money, you are also right. "

Butterflies in your stomach

" In your brain, the limbic system limbic system is involved in emotions, among other things. Here phenylethylamine is produced, a kind of love substance. That creates the butterflies in your stomach and an energetic feeling. Whenever you meet someone who conforms to the image you have in your mind of your ideal partner, those feelings come up. That's real crush, but it doesn't say anything about whether that person is a good match for you. You do not yet know whether your characters match, for example, "said Wardenaar.

The Law of Attraction

Lifecoach Sabine Hess built a theory around the law of attraction, which consists of the following aspects.

1. Thoughts and Feelings "If you think or feel negative about yourself, you also radiate this and it becomes much more difficult to find a partner who finds you valuable."

2. To do

"You can't get anywhere with just dreaming. Try to figure out where that dream partner could be and what you could do to meet him or her there. "

3. Receiving

" Do you dare to give yourself completely, even if there is a chance of disappointment? "

4. Accept

" Keep your wishes within your own sphere of influence. You can't force someone to be as attracted to you as you are to another. "

Curious about the whole article? You can read it in the May issue of Marie Claire.