Can my child choose high school?

12 May 2021Updated: 4 hours ago | 52 people are reading

Can my child choose high school?

The choice for high school, how is it made? Bertho Nieboer - married, father and gynecologist - wondered "out loud" on Twitter. It also made us think. Whose interest is decisive in choosing high school: that of the child or that of the parent?

© Offered by De Telegraaf

The criteria that you as a parent use for selecting a high school, can sometimes differ from your child's. For example, where you mainly learn about pass rates, curriculums and the status of a school, your child will be guided more by intuition and where his friends go.

Assessment power

Marina van der Wal is immediately certain in her answer to the question whose judgment should be decisive: do not underestimate your child's judgment and, above all, leave your judgment behind. Marina: “Children know very well what they want and which school suits their wishes and feelings. They are, more than many parents might think, very aware of what schools stand for and in what atmosphere and with which manners within school they feel comfortable. "

" They can easily judge that on the basis of from conversations with older siblings, friends and girlfriends, and through visits that they bring to different schools in the run-up to bridging class. I am impressed by their wisdom every time. They really do not only choose a school because their friends simply go there. On the contrary: they make a well-considered decision that really suits them. "


" Of course that doesn't mean you can't talk to your child to find out what the reason of choice. In it you can also ask pretty provocative questions: "Have you included the range of lessons in your consideration?" And "Do you know more about the teachers at that school?". It is no more than normal that you are curious about a substantiation. But do not be steering in your questions. If your judgment takes a leading role, your child will soon notice that there is little room in the conversation. "

" A high school must be a safe place where children can be themselves. The conditions that a school must meet in order to meet that criterion vary per child. For example, I once spoke to an adolescent who indicated that he did not want to go to a certain school because he thought the building looked like a factory. "

" Less than a week later I spoke to another adolescent who just loved clarity of that building: all tables stood in exactly the same rows every day. That worked well for her. Also start a conversation with your child this way. The answers might surprise you! "