Can my daughter (16) still see her boyfriend?
07 Aug 2020Updated: 4 hours ago | people are reading
WOMAN reader Yvonne (53) does her best to make her daughter understand the seriousness of the corona situation, but still has trouble keeping her inside. Now that she insists on seeing her boyfriend, Yvonne is faced with a dilemma: apply her own rules or turn a blind eye?© Offered by De Telegraaf
Yvonne writes: “I know that my daughter's boyfriend is still may come outside and hang out in groups with his friends. His mother has less strict requirements than I do. My daughter wants to see him, and I understand that, but I'm so afraid we're taking too much risk. It is difficult to simply forbid her to see him, but at least he shouldn't be coming here in the coming weeks. ”
“ That creates tension between my daughter and me. She is afraid it will go out if they don't see each other for too long. How do I find a middle ground in this, so that I continue to respect my daughters' concerns and train of thought, while at the same time observing my own rules? Is it reasonable to keep her indoors and then accept that she may not be able to see him for weeks? ”
We put Yvonne's question to adolescent coach Janneke ter Bille, who understands how difficult the situation is for both daughter and mother. She recommends having a good conversation about a middle ground where meeting is possible, but then while the lovebirds keep 1.5 meters away. Janneke: “If we look at the guidelines of the RIVM, that should be possible, provided they are both in good health. Yes, it is very difficult not to hug or kiss your boyfriend, but better hold on now and then realize how much you have together. Please explain that to her. ”
“ Basic hygiene measures are also important, of course, and you probably know very well if your daughter is strict about this. Also insist that she emphasize this to her boyfriend. It is indeed difficult that you have no control over him: with whom he meets and how frequent that is. Hammer that whenever there is any kind of cold or other complaints, they both really have to stay inside. It is indeed important to keep talking to your daughter about the seriousness of this virus. "
" You can also suggest alternatives. This way your daughter can keep video contact with her boyfriend via FaceTime or Skype and they can still see each other. Open the conversation. Be curious about your daughter's opinion and don't judge. What does she think of the situation? What does she think of the measures? Which measures can she agree to? Try to find a middle ground that is acceptable to everyone. ”