"Do I have to end my relationship?"
15 May 2021Updated: 4 hours ago | people are reading
Every week in Lieve Sabine we discuss striking, fun, difficult and sometimes painful problems. This time a woman who has doubts about living together.© Offered by De Telegraaf
Dear Sabine, I have had a nice friend for almost seven years. We had a LAT relationship and I saw him once or twice a week. That was ideal for me. I was always super happy when I saw him, but I also had plenty of time for myself and friends. I've always been very individualistic. It went so well between us that we decided to live together. But I already regret it. I really need time to recharge on my own at the end of a working day and that is no longer possible. Moving in with my friend was the straw for my burnout. I walk around irritated all day. I sleep poorly, feel constantly looked at and feel at home no longer as a safe haven. Do I have to pack my things and leave? Is a relationship perhaps not for me at all?
Sabine: "You have been in a relationship for seven years, so I don't understand why you think a relationship is not for you. Don't you have a wonderful time together? But you actually already say it yourself; the big change that living together brought with it was "the straw for you to get burned out". So it is probably not a matter of your relationship and / or cohabitation but a combination of several factors. You don't just get a burnout. But if you really think it's because of living together, then maybe it's an idea to take a closer look at your limits. "
" You need time to recharge after a long (work) )day. Could you perhaps come up with an activity to change your mind after a day of work? For example, spending an hour exercising, taking a bath or simply spending an hour alone on the couch with your favorite series? Indicate to your friend that you really need that time. And so you can make many appointments with your friend. You still have to divide the house and time together. And if you need something (more) time and space for yourself, then you can just discuss that? " . But then you could also look for a "charging place" outdoors. In short, before you break the relationship, there really are a number of options for feeling better. And if you really suspect a burnout, I would definitely visit a doctor or therapist. You can be helped with changing the things that give you too much stress and tension. Success and strength! ”
Do you also have a problem for our VROUW section Lieve Sabine? Make it anonymous here.