Got caught! If your child sees your sex
13 Apr 2021Updated: 4 hours ago | people are reading
Â © iStock
Whether they accidentally walk into the bedroom at an awkward moment, or when that tent offers a little less privacy than you hoped for while camping: it may just be that your children sometimes get more from your sex party than you would want. How do you deal with this?
Of course you do your best to be a bit discreet, but yes, you are - certainly on vacation - still pretty close to each other's lips. What do you do if your child 'catches' you during a game of sex? Dokterdokter.nl asked psychologist Willem van Veen.
Is it harmful if a child accidentally sees the parents make love?
"That is not harmful. A child usually knows what Research has shown that children have a good knowledge of sex at a very young age, for example, in Sweden, children aged 9 are already 100% aware of what sex is. for example out of love or because it is fun. "
And if the child does not know what it sees?
The book" Invisible Infidelity "states that children up to 7 years old can think that adult adults are fighting. "If your parents never show affection and never have a good word for each other, then it can indeed be a strange experience. All that arguing and then suddenly something so intimate. That can even influence the sex life of the child later in life. But if the child grows up in a normal family, it is best to use this moment to provide information. A child must learn what sex is at a given moment. "
And what do you tell?
"Explain that you were making love. That making love is nice. And that you do it because you love each other. That you only do it if you both really like it. And that it is private. © is not public, that your child was not meant to see it, but does not have to feel guilty, and that it also depends on the age of the child. risks of having sex, so that you can get pregnant and what STDs are. "
If you are not sure if you were caught: can you tell your child?
"If you are a family where sex is not a heavily charged subject, I would just ask. For example: "When Mom and Dad were in the bedroom last night, did you open the door?" But in a family where sexuality is never discussed, the child may not give an honest answer. You can also notice abnormal behavior, such as giggling. "
Can you say that it is mainly annoying for the parents?
" You will certainly feel bad if you get caught . After that comes often the fear that the child will talk about it at the neighbors or at school. Certainly in this time, when everyone becomes suspicious when a child tells something about sex. Yet it can also be annoying for the child if you as a parent do nothing with it. The child has the right to information. It can then process the moment and link this information to his or her ideas about sex and adults. Another disadvantage: if it is an adult itself, it can copy the emotionally charged way in which the parents in the family dealt with sex. "
For this article we worked with Dokterdokter.nl.Â you have many more articles about health, checked by doctors and medical specialists.