"How do I make it clear to my daughter (8) that she is good enough?"

24 Feb 2021Updated: 4 hours ago | 52 people are reading

The impact of social media on children is greater than ever. Thanks to platforms such as TikTok, Instagram and YouTube, influencers have gained a permanent place in the lives of many children. This is also noticeable by reader Cyra (40). Her daughter (8) continuously measures herself against the outside world and focuses on things in which she is less good. She asks us: "How do I make it clear to my child that she is good enough?"

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We put Cyra's question to children's coach Marlies Ganzeboom. Marlies: “Of course you want your child to be happy and to go through life in a pleasant way. When you notice that this is (less) the case, it is difficult. "

Identity

" It is important to continue to make it clear to your child that everyone (sometimes) does is uncertain about something. At school or at the sports club ... Everywhere there is group formation; one child is better at football, math or playing the piano than the other. Growing children are intensively involved in this because they are developing their own identity. They wonder who they are and what they want to belong to. In that process they cannot escape comparing themselves with others. "

" The rise of social media plays an important role in this. How often do you see "losers" appear on YouTube, Snapchat or Instagram? Only the fun, beautiful, amazing moments of their lives are seen. If your child lays her own life alongside that ruler and constantly compares herself with someone else, it always goes awry. "

Children's brain

" What she forgets about it - because she stares the things in which she is less good - is that she has other qualities. That is normal, the children's brain is not yet developed so far that it can keep that overview. That is why it is so important to point out to children the things they can do. "

" That does not mean that you have to ignore or deny your child's insecurities. On the contrary. Listening is a great thing; your child wants to be seen and heard. But leave it at that. Listen, acknowledge, and then do not respond.

Everything that gets attention, after all, gets bigger. So if you focus on the problems in a conversation, it will only get harder. However, when you switch to another topic, for example the high geography rating she recently received, you will teach your child to see where her strength lies. You take her out of that downward spiral. "