"I'm in love with my student"
01 Mar 2021Updated: 4 hours ago | people are reading
In our popular section Opgebiecht you can share your secret anonymously. This time a reader confesses that she is in love with a student.© Offered by De Telegraaf © Getty Images
'' I have been teaching English at a high school for a few years. Very nice, nice school, smart students. In short: all fine. When I started there, my friends sometimes joked about it: "Who knows, you might fall in love with a student."
Howling with laughter I waved that away. That would never happen to me with such a class full of those adolescent teenagers. How did they get it in their head ?! I never seriously thought that it could happen to anyone. And whether it is because my relationship ended two years ago and that makes me more vulnerable ... I don't know. But since this school year I am completely confused. I am very attracted to a boy of seventeen! Ten years younger than I am.
He looks a bit older than he is, has a nice head, a radiant smile and he looks much more mature than the other boys in his class. I notice that I blush when he looks at me for a long time and that I favor him in class. Nobody is aware of that, but if he is bumbling once or does not come out somewhere, then I immediately notice that I naturally say: "this is also difficult, you know." have had so many times already.
A week or two ago something happened that frightened me. The lesson was over and he took it very slowly to pack his bag. In fact, so slowly that we were left alone in the room. I said, "Well, you take your time." And then he answered with glittering eyes: "Do you mind?" I turned bright red and he smiled again. "Oh, he got it," shot right through me. I tried to be as normal as possible, but I was upset. Fortunately my next class came rushing in, otherwise I would not have known what I should have done.
I was awake, I saw his handsome face in front of me all the time. And realized: the impossible has happened, I am in love with a student. The panic has struck a lot, especially now that he realizes it. After the lesson that followed, he gave me a note. "Can I take you out for dinner?" It said. He walked on immediately, so he couldn't hear my heart beating. I want it, I want nothing more than to meet him. Make love to him. But what do I get - his English teacher 10 years older - in my head?
I know that I am on slippery ice. I have to stand above and get my feelings under control. This is simply not possible. And it could also cost me my job. So what I cannot afford at all. I don't dare talk about it. I'm sure my girlfriends would shout with laughter and I would understand that too. In the meantime I feel so bad. I have to get rid of this crush, but I can't ignore it. I myself seem so adolescent and I behave that way too. Tomorrow I will see him again and then he expects an answer. What should I do? ""