Jeffrey about the best way to break up
13 Apr 2021Updated: 4 hours ago | people are reading
& # 169; Offered by TMG - Telegraaf Media Groep
It is difficult to end a love affair. Logical as well, because nothing is more hurtful than the words: "I don't want you in my life anymore." The question is then how you can somewhat mitigate such a painful message. The possibilities are endless, but one stands head and shoulders above the head: "It's not you, but me."
Now there will be plenty of people who claim that truthfulness is important in a relationship. Especially when one of the two decides to put an end to it. But sometimes the truth about the reason for termination is so hard that the question is justified: whose interest is served by it?
Suppose someone wants to break up because, on closer inspection, they think their partner is too stupid. Well, if I write it here so cruelly, I don't think it's possible. Let alone say such a truth in the face. No, it is better to keep that kind of 'sincere feelings' in front of you and keep it in your diary.
Then there are plenty of people who think that it should be canceled of a relationship should at least be properly argued by saying, for example, "The most important reason why I want to quit is that you find your work so important that I always have the feeling that I am in second place."
Nicely said, but a good counter argument can be given on every argument: 'If I give you that feeling, then that is certainly not my intention. Tell me what I have to do to remove that feeling, because I don't want to lose you. " See, with so much oneness it becomes even more difficult to persevere. »The choice is huge
It is the American comedian Jerry Seinfeld who is the It's not you, it's me layout variant has made famous. It is an approach that is also easy to defend. Because if the shocked partner asks for an explanation, you can choose from a row of plausible explanations: 1) I am in a development phase where I prefer to be alone; 2) I have difficulty enough to keep myself afloat, let alone have energy for someone else; 3) I don't want it, but I just can't do it; 4) the good feeling is gone and 5) I am simply relationship-unfit.
These are all statements that are meaningless. Period. Anyway, breaking up remains painful. Perhaps that is why it is a good idea to create a professional cancellation service: "Good afternoon, Mr Havermans, I am telling you on behalf of Hanneke Smit that your relationship with her has ended immediately". Costs for victim support are then for the client.