"My new boyfriend is perfect, but I want sex with my ex again"

13 Apr 2021Updated: 4 hours ago | 52 people are reading

© Getty My friend is perfect, but I want to have sex with my ex

In this section, readers can share their secrets anonymously. This reader confesses that she has a very sweet new friend, but unfortunately he is a bit boring in bed. She fantasizes about sex with her ex and would like him back in her life as a lover.

"My ex-husband, to say the least, had a somewhat hot temper. He was not really aggressive and he never really hurt me, but in a fight the service sometimes flew through the room. someone cut him off on the highway, he preferred to go after it immediately.


He also had such a strong opinion about everything that some people from my family and friends circle I got the feeling that I had to choose between him and the rest of my environment, and we had so many arguments that it made me crazy, so I asked - to his great sorrow - the divorce and we parted. Fortunately, we have no children.

After a while I fell in love with a colleague from my work, who was the opposite of my ex in everything, sweet, gentle, understanding and caring. My family and friends immediately loved him, and we have been living together for three years now and I am ' bonus mother ’of his teenage daughters.

Mr. Gray

So no dirt in the air, you would say. Except for my friend, who also behaves sweetly, caringly and respectfully in bed. And that makes him a little boring. My ex was not nearly as dominant as Mr. Gray, but he was the one who determined what we did in bed. He did a lot of sports, so he was very strong. He could literally lift and carry me away and I could never predict what would happen if we had sex. But it was always exciting and I enjoyed it immensely.

My current friend is more fond of caressing, hugging and kissing for hours. In our first phase of falling in love, I still liked that, but now it makes me a little bit crazy. I sometimes ask if he wants to tie me up, but that doesn't attract him. And when I recently said he could do a bit more bossy, his face clouded. He thought that was "too humiliating" for me.


I now notice that I am less and less interested in sex with him and I try to get rid of it with a quickie. What is worse is that I increasingly fantasize about sex with my ex-husband. It does occasionally have a free range, but officially it is still single. And because we both live in the same village, I come across him occasionally.

I recently had a cup of coffee with him and when he briefly put his hand on mine, the shivers ran down my back . I fantasized that I went home with him and that we ripped the clothes off of each other's bodies. And sometimes I think: maybe I should go to bed with him just once, just to get rid of the tension in my body. Because I actually fantasize more and more about him.

The stupid thing is that I would never want to lose my friend. He is the perfect man for me, it is just a shame that he is so worthless in bed. If only I could keep it as a partner and my ex as a lover. That would be perfect. But I know he would never accept that. I fear it must therefore remain a fantasy. Right? "