"That self-righteous head, that satisfied smile, I don't want to see them again."

15 May 2021Updated: 4 hours ago | 52 people are reading

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COLUMN - Anouk and Bas seem to have it all together: they have a thriving business, a nice house and nice twins (14). They form the "perfect" picture, until disaster strikes and Anouk and Bas suddenly face each other. They share their stories weekly, viewed from both sides. This week: Anouk.

I will be on top of the hall when Bas returns. From the corridor window I can quietly spy on him without him seeing me. I watch him cycle into the driveway. In passing he slaps the roof of his Porsche. I think he's winking at her in love.

When he gets off, the neighbor's door swings open and the neighbor appears in the doorway. She beckons to Bas. I see her laughing excessively and shaking her hair. In an attempt to be sexy, she puts her bony ass back and her nonexistent breasts forward. Sad and transparent. However, that doesn't seem to bother Bas. He glances briefly over his shoulder and then steps inside behind her.

Five things

Disgusted, I sit at my desk. How long has this been going on? Just under my nose. And under the nose of the children. He doesn't care: voluptuous, round, tall, skinny, blonde, brown ... my husband is at home in every market.

And now I'm looking for revenge: to destroy everything he's proud of. Five things. I destroy it in five steps. Just because a row of five looks so well organized. I open my agenda and write:

1) His Porsche

2) His prestige in the real estate world

3) His self-confidence



The third I scratch. That self-righteous head. That satisfied smile. I don't want to see them anymore, because then I will hit. "I know exactly what I can do and what I am worth," he regularly boasted. Well, we'll see about that.


But after number three my inspiration is gone. What more do I want to demolish, destroy, disappear forever? I take a sip of my chamomile tea, get up and look out the window again. Maybe I should start with my revenge plans now, then the inspiration for numbers 4 and 5 will come naturally.

Work on point 1 is underway. For point 2 I already have a nice video. All I have to do is give fate a hand and wait for the right moment. Point 3 requires more preparation. Various actions are required for this. To begin with, hear out people who know all of his weaknesses.

I grab my phone and app his mom: "I'll be drinking coffee tomorrow, okay?" I get a smiley back. Horrible. Old people who communicate with emoticons are sad. Then I applet his brother: "Hey Cas, I'll pick up the Ottolenghi cookbook tomorrow after work. Okay? "He replies with a glass of wine smile. Sigh.

Daddy is busy

The next morning Bas rages furiously into the house: "Where's the air freshener?"

"Just on the toilet", I answer and ask him: "Why?"

"My car still smells of yesterday's salmon."

I want to say that he went shopping by bike yesterday, but I quickly swallow that. Meanwhile, Spring is coming down the stairs. "Daddy!" she yells happily and puts her arms around his neck. Bas responds impatiently: "I have to go treasure," he says, breaking free. Disappointed, Spring lets him go. She pulls a pout. Bas is shocked. I look at them and realize that there is his weakest place: with the children. "Come on sweetie," I say, pulling Spring away from him: "Daddy is busy."


Immediately after my morning yoga, I cycle to my mother-in-law. "It's going to be a beautiful day," I say on arrival, and kiss her on the cheek. "Well, well ... a kiss," she mutters, "Is it my birthday?" She is right. I only kiss her on holidays. "Is something wrong with you?" she asks.

I shrug as I quickly determine my strategy: asking for advice is likely to be more effective than hearing out. "Things are not going well between Bas and me ... I was hoping you had some tips," I say softly and lower my eyes modestly. "Oh girl, right?" She reaches across the table to my hand and gently strokes it. "It is not easy to keep it fun," she continues.

I nod: "It is quite a lot: the children and then the case ..." My mother-in-law smiles understandingly : "Yes and Bas would like to prove himself in all areas. Nice clothes, a healthy body. ”

“ As if he has to prove himself to me, ”I object. "I'm his wife."

"Maybe that's why. You know that as a boy he always had to bump into his big brother. Casper was taller, a better footballer, a faster learner ... ”All I have to do is nod occasionally, and she automatically deflates. She talks about how Bas was as a little boy and how frustrated he was as an adolescent. Complete with crying spells and tantrums.

While she is talking, I take notes in my head. And as I go through my own minutes in my mind, the plan for tonight unfolds automatically ...