The parenting issue: "My daughter cries for everything"
17 Jun 2021Updated: 4 hours ago | people are reading
Fecilia tries to maintain her patience, but her eight-year-old daughter quickly bursts into tears. How can she do this better?
That her daughter lets the waterlanders flow fairly quickly is something that Fecilia can sometimes tolerate very badly, she admits honestly: "Mira really cries about everything. If I tell her reprimand if she doesn't get a second ice cream, if a friend can't play with her, if she can't find her sportswear right away.
This really works on the nerves Very mean, but sometimes I think: crybaby, don't bother. I'm not saying that to her, but I think Mira sees and notices me. After that, of course I feel guilty again. How do I do this better on? "
When a child cries at everything, as a parent you can assume that there is a lot of powerlessness, says Janina Dubbeld of Kindercoach De Vuurtoren:" She probably does not for her fun and would do differently if she would know otherwise, unless she knows that this will benefit her, of course, for example she will get a second ice cream a ls she crying? Then I would advise to stop doing this and not reward her behavior that way. Otherwise, there is no reason for her to change this. "
It is important that parents agree with themselves to be mild and to investigate what exactly causes their irritation: "What feeling do you get when your daughter cries? Whose judgment do you have on this? If you used to cry yourself? Were you yourself called a crybaby or a poser? These are all questions that I would like to ask in my practice ", says Dubbeld.
If something like this happens again, for example crying because a friend cannot play, the child coach recommends naming your observation and to find out why your child is crying: "Then say," I see you cry, is that because you are not allowed to play with your girlfriend? " If this is the case, you can confirm her feeling: "I understand that you are sad, you were so excited to play together."
Parents are often inclined to say, "Yes, you can't, so stop crying." But with this we completely deny the feeling of our children and this does not help them to get out of the emotion. Acknowledging is an important first step. Often there is a noticeable relief in your child immediately afterwards and this means that you can have a quiet conversation or that your daughter may already think up something to do. A big hug is always a good idea. "
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