The parenting issue: my daughter does not want to sleep in her own bed

17 Jun 2021Updated: 4 hours ago | 52 people are reading

The parenting issue: my daughter does not want to sleep in her own bed

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Journalist Anne Broekman can set the clock: every night, often around one o'clock, her five-year-old daughter crawls into the parental bed. How does she stop this?

It starts with some chatter when she jumps out of her own bed, then I hear tripping feet and then a thud when she jumps on our bed and crawls in between my husband and me . Every night our toddler sleeps in our bed sooner or later. I myself have no problem with that. I often sleep through it a little and secretly I also enjoy that sweet, warm body next to me in bed. But my husband is troubled by turmoil and mowing limbs - Phew, another foot in his stomach or elbow in his face! So: it is high time to teach our daughter that she really stays in her own bed all night. How do we do that?

The most important thing is that my husband and I must both be motivated to change this, says orthopedagogue and parent coach Loes Waanders: “Otherwise your daughter will detect an opening to be allowed in your bed stay. Furthermore, it is good to realize that changing behavior in children needs time. You have to invest in that. Be consistent. As soon as both educators radiate the same thing, that is clearer for a child. That has a better chance of success. "

The best thing is to make a plan in advance for the campaign, Waanders notes:" Consider how you approach your child and involve her so that she does not feel robbed. . Tell her that from now on you will do things differently. This way you can prepare her for the change in a loving way. Clearly express your expectation. Say what you do want, so that she stays in her own bed all night, instead of what you don't want. Make sure you have a fixed bed ritual, for example with a bath and reading a book. Children love predictability, that provides safety. ”

Try to avoid a discussion in the middle of the night

Waanders also thinks it is smart to agree on a 'shift': one of the parents who is responsible for bringing your child back to their own bed. “Then there is no uncertainty about that in the middle of the night. Walk to her bed, put her under the covers, speak your expectation and give a kiss. Then you walk away. Try to avoid conversations and discussions in the middle of the night. Choose a good time to introduce this new rule, not during exciting times around holidays, parties or birthdays. And remember that you might be resisting and that it may take about three weeks before she really stays in her own bed. "