The parenting issue: our son is very lonely

12 May 2021Updated: 4 hours ago | 52 people are reading

The parenting issue: our son is very lonely

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The six-year-old son of Zeynep is very clear in what he wants: playing alone and with his best friend from school. This is not good for Zeynep. Do you have to encourage him to get along with other children too?

They have the greatest fun together, but to be honest: sometimes the two kids are crackling. Yet the son of Zeynep wants nothing more than to meet his bosom friend. She wonders if that is really smart: "Kaan is crazy about his best friend Dean. They are in the same class and are always looking for each other. And Kaan is rather stupid: he really only wants to meet Dean, and nobody else. I have suggested that a few times but he doesn't want to know anything about it. He is really upset when his boyfriend starts playing with another child. How do I encourage him to play with other children too? "

< p> That her son only wants to meet his bestie is a fact, but according to remedial educationalist and parent coach Loes Waanders it is important to see where this need actually comes from: "It can be a phase in which your child feels temporarily more comfortable It may also be that something has happened that makes him go to this friend he knows well, but that doesn't mean that he will always stay that way, that he will never play with others again. past with other chin too played or still does that at the BSO, I would not put too much pressure on him to necessarily "play" with other children. "

" Remember that it is really normal for children to trusted search '

Waanders thinks he knows why some children prefer to play only with the same boyfriend: "In many situations you see that fear plays a role or that children need a little more help when it comes to certain social skills. Perhaps a child is afraid of being rejected, so that another child will say 'no' if your child asks him or her to play together. Or does he not know how he can respond to this? Discuss this with your child so that you can find out what exactly is going on. "

It can help to repeat such a conversation between children, the parent coach hints:" Help him to prepare situations. For example, play with Lego to see how your child could approach another child, what could possibly be said and how your child could respond to that. It may then appear that your child is afraid of playing in an unknown house. You can tackle that by bringing him and staying for a cup of tea so that he can get used to it and 'thaw' it. Remember that it is really normal for children to look for the familiar. "